A Silent Fatigue: Being Everywhere and Nowhere at the Same Time
“Someone who looks like us but is not like one of us…”
“You’re experiencing things very European, but it’s like you haven’t quite adapted yet.”
These sentences are not only uttered in conversation. For individuals living with a multi-layered identity structure, these statements are like small inquiries into their existence.
Culturally belonging to two (or more) worlds may seem like an advantage from the outside, but it can trigger identity conflicts and self-disintegration on an internal level. This article deals with this unseen, unspoken but felt condition: identity fatigue.
A Different “I” for Every Environment: Role Distribution in Daily Life
Individuals who grew up in cultural transition zones or have a migrant background often feel that they have more than one identity. The same person who speaks Turkish at home and reverts to Dutch outside; the same person who behaves according to traditional values in one environment and advocates liberal ideas in another… This individual is forced to assume several social roles at the same time in his/her daily life.
Such transitions are known as “code-switching” in psychology (Dewaele & Li, 2014). Not only language, but also behavior, gesture, facial expression, even the way of thinking changes according to the context. Although these changes may appear as a flexibility for the individual, this situation is actually a dilemma for the individual — “which self is more correct, which will be more accepted”.
The individual’s sense of self-continuity can be damaged by the long-term effects of these transitions. Trying to be everywhere can result in not being fully present anywhere.
The Subtle Price of Belonging: Microaggressions and “In-Betweenness”
It would be insufficient to see identity fatigue only as an internal process of the individual. One of the main causes of this fatigue is microaggressions from the outside world. In other words, small, social messages that do not seem directly offensive, but wear down the psychology of the person with their persistence. Sentences like “You are not one of us, but you are not exactly a foreigner” create a sense of socially suspended identity.
Research on young people of Turkish origin living in the Netherlands shows that a significant number of them feel stuck between two cultures and have a sense of belonging (Verkuyten & Yıldız, 2007). This “in-betweenness” can lead to indecision, inability to express oneself and personality tensions, not only in social relations, but also in decision-making processes, career choice and family relationships.
It has been found that depression, anxiety and low self-esteem are more common in individuals with multiple identities, especially in adolescence and young adulthood (Verkuyten, 2018). Because these individuals constantly question not only “who they are” but also “who they are allowed to be”.
Where Identity Becomes Performance: The Test of Belonging in the Digital World
Identity fatigue is no longer limited to the physical world. Social media has become a space for both expression and suppression of digital identity. Sharing content in line with traditional values on Instagram, while drawing a Western career-oriented profile on LinkedIn; speaking politically on one account while remaining silent on another… Producing a “new you” for each platform shows that identity has become a performance.
This creates a gap between one’s digital self and one’s real self. The fact that digital identity is based on constant “acceptance” makes identity a state of external approval rather than an internal commitment. This both overshadows the individual’s authenticity and reinforces identity fatigue.
Identity Can Be a Layering, Not a Conflict
Despite all these challenges, living with multiple identities is not only a challenge; it is also a potential. Berry’s (2008) model of cultural adaptation argues that psychological well-being is higher when an individual has healthy ties to both the culture of origin and the culture in which they live.
This is called “integration”. In other words, the individual can carry them together without having to choose between their identities. Phinney and Ong (2007) pioneered many studies showing that individuals with an integrated identity structure have lower depression symptoms and higher life satisfaction.
Individuals who can ask themselves the following question can achieve this transformation:
“Am I experiencing a conflict between parts of my identity, or do these parts make me stronger?”
Conclusion: Depth in Complexity
Identity fatigue is one of the common but silent problems of this age. Especially in today’s world of diverse cultures, the desire to “belong to a community” leads people to either sacrifice elements of themselves or to always live behind a mask.
But identity does not have to be monolithic. A layered identity does not make you less “authentic”. On the contrary, it gives you multiple perspectives, intercultural empathy, flexibility and inner depth.
Remember: The cure for identity fatigue is not a single identity, but the multiple identities you allow yourself. You don’t have to choose your identity — you just have to embrace it.
Source
Berry, J. W. (2008). Immigration, acculturation, and adaptation. Applied Psychology, 46(1), 5–34.
Dewaele, J.-M., & Li, W. (2014). Intra- and inter-individual variation in self-reported code-switching patterns of adult multilinguals. International Journal of Multilingualism, 11(2), 225–246.
Phinney, J. S., & Ong, A. D. (2007). Conceptualization and measurement of ethnic identity: Current status and future directions. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 54(3), 271.
Verkuyten, M. (2018). The social psychology of ethnic identity. Routledge.
Verkuyten, M., & Yıldız, A. A. (2007). National (dis)identification and ethnic and religious identity: A study among Turkish-Dutch Muslims. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33(10), 1448–1462.