Grief is most commonly associated with death, and the grieving process is typically conceptualized within the context of bereavement. Yet a wide range of traumatic losses give rise to grief responses as well. Experiences such as separation, sudden loss, natural disasters, conflicts with significant others, chronic illness, financial indebtedness, long-term unemployment, and economic strain can all trigger grieving processes. Unlike bereavement-related grief, these forms of loss often activate the individual and stimulate efforts toward future planning.
The grieving process following the death of a loved one differs fundamentally from these forms of loss. In this study, grief after death, the potential development of addiction during this process, and the dynamics of acceptance and commitment will be examined through the film Wild, which presents these themes in a clear and accessible manner.
Grief: An Endless Farewell Or A New Beginning?
In the scientific literature, grief is defined as a natural and multidimensional response to the loss of a loved one. In his work Mourning and Melancholia, Freud describes mourning as the process of withdrawing the emotional energy that had been invested in the lost object or person. According to modern theories, however, grief is not merely a process of forgetting or leaving behind. Worden’s “Tasks of Mourning” model argues that the grieving individual is not engaged in a passive waiting process, but rather in an active psychological work. This process involves accepting the reality of the loss, processing the pain of grief and expressing emotions, adjusting to an environment in which the deceased is absent, reinvesting emotional energy in a new life, and mentally repositioning the relationship with the lost person.
When these processes become blocked, complicated grief may emerge. The individual becomes frozen within the pain of the loss; grief turns chronic and functional impairment occurs. Sudden and unexpected losses, in particular, make this process even more difficult.
Addiction: A Dangerous Harbor For Escaping Pain
Addiction is often viewed as a form of experiential avoidance that individuals resort to in order to escape from distressing emotions such as anxiety, depression, feelings of emptiness, and grief that they find difficult to cope with. Research shows that beyond curiosity, substance use is rooted in personality-related factors, adjustment difficulties, and problems with coping with stress. Individuals with a low frustration tolerance may turn to substances in search of relief when they are unable to manage distressing life events. Although this may provide short-term relief, in the long run it increases psychological rigidity and distances the individual from their core values.
Acceptance And Commitment Therapy (Act): The Power Of Psychological Flexibility
Considered the third wave of cognitive behavioral therapies, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is based on the idea that pain is an inevitable part of life. Its aim is not to eliminate symptoms, but to enable individuals to live a meaningful life alongside them. Its core principles include the following:
Acceptance
Instead of fighting against unwanted thoughts and emotions, this involves acknowledging their presence and making space for them.
Cognitive Defusion
For example, recognizing that thoughts such as “I am worthless” are not objective realities, but merely mental events. Rather than becoming fused with a thought, the individual learns to observe it with psychological distance.
Being Present
Establishing contact with the “here and now” rather than being absorbed by regrets about the past or anxieties about the future.
Values
Identifying the directions that make one’s life meaningful and taking committed actions in accordance with these values.
Grief, Addiction, Acceptance, And Commitment Through The Lens Of The Film Wild
The film, tells the story of a young woman named Cheryl and what she experiences following the death of her mother. Shattered by the loss of the mother she deeply loved, Cheryl becomes entangled in drug use, and with the end of her marriage, she devotes herself almost to self-destruction.
While struggling with the nightmares of the past, particularly the memories of her mother, the young woman suddenly makes a radical decision and attempts to hike the Pacific Crest Trail carrying an enormous backpack named “Monster,” one that is even heavier than her own body weight.
Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée, Wild is, in essence, a concrete representation of the arduous inner journey that each of us is, at times, compelled to undertake. The story is valuable not only for what it shows of landscapes and physical hardship, but also for how it reveals the contours of the mind, the stages of grief, and the ways in which a person tames the “wild” within.
We now shift our focus to the film’s pivotal scenes.
The Denial Of Grief And The Birth Of The Monster
The film opens with the death of Cheryl’s mother, Bobbi. For Cheryl, this death represents not only the loss of a parent but also the collapse of her secure base. Her mother is the primary attachment figure in her life. Cheryl is unable to fulfil Worden’s task of working through the pain of grief. Her mother’s death from cancer is so sudden and devastating that Cheryl enters a state of cognitive fusion; the thought “I am nothing without my mother” becomes her sole reality.
At this point, experiential avoidance comes into play. In order not to feel the immense emptiness and pain created by her mother’s absence, Cheryl turns to destructive behaviors such as heroin use and random sexual encounters. This is a typical example of dysfunctional coping: every attempt to escape from pain distances her further from her values, including her marriage, her health, and her sense of dignity. The enormous backpack she carries on her back symbolizes not only camping equipment, but also her unprocessed grief, her feelings of guilt, her failed marriage, and all the traumas she is trying to flee. Each time she struggles to lift the pack and stumbles, it becomes a physical metaphor for how she is being crushed under the weight of her grief.
Escape Into Nature Or A Return To The Self?
Cheryl’s decision to embark on the Pacific Crest Trail is, in essence, an unconscious act of acceptance and value-oriented action. When she stops numbing her mind with drugs in the city, she is left alone with her own thoughts within the silence of nature.
In the early days of the hike, Cheryl constantly dwells on the past. Nature, however, is relentless; thirst, cold, wild animals, and physical pain force her to remain in the present moment. One of the film’s most striking scenes, in which she angrily throws the hiking boot that does not fit her off a cliff, marks an intense moment of contact with the here and now. That scream is not merely an outburst of anger but the expression of helplessness that comes from confronting an uncontrollable reality. In that moment, there is no past or future, only bleeding feet and a lost boot. Painful as it is, this experience represents the purest form of contact with reality.
Cognitive Defusion And The Discovery Of Values
Throughout the film, we witness Cheryl’s inner voice and her flashbacks. At first, these inner narratives judge her with thoughts such as “I am a bad person” and “I have ruined my life.” As the journey progresses, however, Cheryl begins to observe these thoughts from a distance, adopting the stance of an observer. She gradually realizes that the thoughts passing through her mind are not who she is, but merely mental products. This marks the process of cognitive defusion as defined in ACT.
Toward the end of the film, she comes to understand that the painful experiences of her past do not define her, recognizing, “I am not these pains.”
The dialogues she establishes with other hikers and local people she encounters along the way play a significant role in the development of her observing self. Through these interactions, Cheryl gradually begins to loosen her attachment to former identity labels such as “heroin addict” or “unfaithful spouse” and starts to redefine herself through a new sense of self shaped by the journey.
The life philosophy her mother taught her, finding beauty in every moment of life, initially feels irritating to Cheryl. Yet, amid the hardships of nature, she begins to realize how powerful this value truly is. Bobbi’s choice to sing despite difficulties and to choose happiness transforms into a model of behavior for Cheryl. She internalizes her mother’s value of choosing happiness. This internalization becomes the anchor that enables her to hold on to life.
The Fox Metaphor And Attachment
The fox that occasionally appears throughout the film symbolizes Cheryl’s spiritual bond with her mother and the concept of the contextual self. According to Bowlby, the process of grief does not involve severing the bond with the deceased, but rather mentally reorganizing that bond.
When Cheryl sees the fox, she senses her mother’s presence, yet this presence is no longer a pain that pulls her downward, but a source of guidance that strengthens her. This reflects the reorganization phase of healthy grieving.
The Bridge Scene: Ultimate Acceptance
At the end of the film, when Cheryl reaches the Bridge of the Gods, her inner monologue marks the culmination of both the therapeutic process and the acceptance principle of ACT. In this moment, she comes to accept that she cannot change the past, erase her mistakes, or bring her mother back. More importantly, she recognizes that her pain and her mistakes are the very building blocks that shaped the woman she has become.
She no longer avoids pain, as avoidance comes to an end. Instead, she makes space for pain, and with this, acceptance begins. She embraces life as it is, with all its shortcomings and possibilities.
From a scientific perspective, Wild can be understood as the psychological transition of an individual caught in the spiral of traumatic grief and addiction from psychological rigidity to psychological flexibility by using nature as a therapeutic space. Cheryl ultimately reaches the core aim of ACT: not the elimination of pain, but continuing to live in accordance with one’s values despite the presence of pain.
She is no longer the fragile young woman who fears pain and escapes through substance use. She becomes a woman who can host pain, joy, and exhaustion under the same sky, and who continues to walk in the direction of her values. Healing does not mean pretending that the wound never existed. It means allowing the wound to remain as part of one’s story without letting it govern one’s life.
In her own words, she sets out into the wilderness believing she has lost herself, only to discover that what she finds there is the very self she had never truly lost.