“It is not necessary to rush to the places you are going; without staying long enough, you cannot truly arrive anywhere.”
We are constantly in the state of finishing, of completing tasks. Even when we achieve something we deeply desire, I find that we are already thinking about the next task ahead. The feeling of accomplishment, and the calmness that is supposed to follow it, seem like very distant concepts in today’s world. Task completion, finishing, and moving forward appear to have become the fundamental routine of our lives. Yet immediately turning to another goal after finishing one seems to neglect the value of the present experience. Perhaps true fulfillment lies not in reaching the result, but in experiencing the journey itself.
According to Eccles and Wigfield’s Expectancy-Value Theory, our intrinsic motivation to complete a task is measured not only by our expectation of success, but also by the importance, enjoyment, and utility we attach to it (Eccles & Wigfield, 2002). However, when we focus solely on “completion,” we overlook the inherent value of the task and thereby weaken the sense of satisfaction that would come at the end. For this reason, we constantly set new goals before ourselves, attempting to reach a state of fulfillment that is continually postponed.
Looking at myself, I realize that most of the time what I feel after finishing a task is not relief, but rather the shadow of the responsibilities that are already approaching. When I complete an exam, finish writing an article, or even cook a meal, my mind quickly drifts to the next step. When is the next exam? When will I wash the dishes? I had planned to eat dessert afterwards—should I start making it right away? Within this endless flow, I often find myself overlooking the value of the moment.
This rush for satisfaction is not unique to my own generation. In fact, I notice it even more in the older generation, such as my grandmother. At first glance, life seems to flow more slowly and calmly for them, not marked by the same urgency we feel. Yet, they are often the ones most committed to finishing the next thing at hand. Over the years, they seem to have learned to live their routines without really experiencing satisfaction.
Whether young or old, the tendency to turn immediately toward the next task and focus on upcoming goals persists across time—and perhaps even strengthens as the years pass.
Kurt Lewin’s Approach-Avoidance Theory sheds light on this situation from another angle. According to Lewin (1935), a goal that carries both attractive and aversive qualities creates a psychological tension in the individual. In our case, the desire to approach success often merges with an avoidance of the very satisfaction that comes with it. Sometimes, when I am very close to something I truly want, I feel a strange urge to withdraw. The closer I get to success, the more I want to question it, even escape from it. For example, when applying to an internship I had long desired, I found myself thinking, “What if they don’t find me sufficient?” Later, I realized that what made me hesitate was not the fear of not being accepted, but the weight of the responsibilities that success would bring. This inner conflict seems connected to the same tendency to rush toward the next goal. It is not so much avoiding satisfaction itself, but rather avoiding the future burdens and obligations that come with it. Instead of living in the present, my mind is often occupied with the future and what it will demand of me.
The fast-paced culture of modern life intensifies this cycle. Social media constantly presents us with the pressure to “do more,” with endless success stories and calls to reach our “full potential.” The moment we complete one goal, we are compelled to set another. Notifications, to-do lists, and external expectations reinforce this pressure. Even in professional life, finishing a task often means immediately taking on a new one. Thus, the journey we set out on in search of fulfillment turns into an endless postponement of that very feeling. Without realizing it, we begin to internalize the thought that we are never quite “enough.” It feels as though we are running endless laps on a track, and after a while, we notice that what we are experiencing is not genuine satisfaction, but merely the fleeting pleasure of crossing another item off a list.
Yet staying, pausing, and savoring the experience are the very things that strengthen motivation in the long run. Eccles and Wigfield’s theory supports this as well: if the value of a task is measured not only by finishing it but also by experiencing it, then we must allow time to feel that value, to give the emotion its due. Taking a short pause between goals, allowing success to settle in, and reflecting on the meaning it brings can nourish our motivation.
Perhaps this is why we must not rush to the places we are going. Every moment of haste makes us overlook the essence of where we arrive. Experiencing the calm that follows success may, in fact, be more valuable than the feeling of completion itself. We are so focused on what comes next that, while striving for a peaceful life, we overlook the very moments in which we could taste it—because our minds are always chasing another goal.
Maybe true growth lies in pausing to enjoy what has already been achieved and in recognizing its value. Only then can success transform from a mere feeling of “completion” into a richer experience of “living.”
References
Eccles, J. S., & Wigfield, A. (2002). Motivational beliefs, values, and goals. Annual Review of Psychology, 53(1), 109–132. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.53.100901.135153
Lewin, K. (1935). A dynamic theory of personality: Selected papers. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill. https://doi.org/10.1037/10019-000