We live in an age where perfectionism is deeply rooted. Many people today find themselves competing in the race of “the best life conditions.” Especially on social media, we frequently witness silent messages like “I’m the happiest,” “I’m the most beautiful,” or “I’m the most talented.”
But why, when perfectionism draws so much attention, has naturalness and sincerity recently become more appreciated?
Human emotions, small blunders, imperfections… these are exactly what bring people closer together.
After all, doesn’t everyone feel inadequate sometimes?
When the person in front of you isn’t robotically perfect, but rather has flaws like yours… that’s what makes them real.
The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism
The urge to do everything well to be perfect might seem positive at first glance. But what truly makes us feel better are the natural, heartfelt things that often go unnoticed.
An Irrational Tendency
According to Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), perfectionism stems from people comparing themselves to others and demanding perfection. Ellis considered this one of the most irrational beliefs people hold.
Despite being irrational, perfectionism is still often perceived as a positive quality which is worth questioning.
Life Is Not a Straight Line
Expecting every result to be perfect is unrealistic. However, ensuring that the process is fulfilling is possible.
Life is not a straight path; it’s full of ups and downs, surprises, and twists.
Along the journey toward your goals, things will not always go as planned.
Once you accept this, you begin to focus not only on the destination but also on the experience itself seeing each moment as a color in the painting of life. True success begins when you focus not on a perfect result, but on a meaningful process.
Perfecting the Process
To make the process worthwhile, ask yourself two questions:
- Did I do my best?
- Did I do it with passion and genuine interest?
If your answer is “yes” to both, you’ve already achieved excellence in the process.
Everyone Needs Their Own Map
Following a map drawn by someone else might not suit your journey.
You can only understand this by observing your own reactions to the situations life brings.
Find What Fits You
Social messages often suggest things like, “If you don’t start your day with morning exercise, you can’t be happy or healthy,” or “This product will make you feel valuable.”
But doing what fits your own lifestyle is what truly brings peace, happiness, and a sense of self-worth.
Maybe your life doesn’t allow you to wake up at 5 AM and go jogging. Struggling with this can lead to self-criticism and increase comparison. This, in turn, creates stress, anxiety, and unhappiness.
Humanity Over Robotization
Perfectionism is one of the greatest harms you can inflict on yourself.
We all have flaws. Sometimes we feel down, indifferent, joyful, tired, or full of energy.
These emotions make us human.
Suppressing our feelings and trying to perform everything perfectly like a robot is not normal.
Everyone’s Path Is Different
Set realistic, achievable goals based on your abilities and interests.
If waking up at 5 AM doesn’t work for you, waking up at 7 AM is just as okay. What matters is doing what suits you and integrating it into your own life.
Every Child Deserves to Succeed in Their Own Way
When you observe children just starting school, you’ll see that each has different characteristics and talents. They don’t laugh at the same jokes, nor are they affected by the same things.
Yet, over time, they are taught that being “normal” means succeeding in the same way.
Children who begin school with their own colors and differences are pushed into a system that expects everyone to graduate with the same level of success.
Uniformity brings robotization. Expecting a fish that swims perfectly to fly in the name of perfectionism disrupts the natural order.
The educational system should be shaped around each child’s developmental process, interests, and abilities. Every child has a unique way of learning, and these differences should be embraced.
The goal of education should not be standardization, but rather to provide a healthy environment where each individual can realize their own potential.
Conclusion
In our pursuit of perfection, we have drifted away from authenticity. That’s why we’re now longing for the natural and the sincere. It is precisely the little flaws that reflect our human nature and remind us that we are not machines.
We are all born with unique qualities and talents. In a world full of differences, declaring one lifestyle as the only “correct” one is irrational.
Those who let go of the anxiety of achieving perfection and return to authenticity… those are the ones who bring life back to life and succeed in the process.
References
Ellis, A. (1975). The Practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Springer Publishing Company.
Cüceloğlu, D. (2001). Savaşçı: Savaşçı Ruhun Günlük Yaşamla Dansı. Remzi Kitabevi.