The time we are in is the present moment; however, our minds are occupied either with what we experienced in the past or with what we will experience in the future. While we cloud our minds by thinking about the past and the future, the present moment flows by. It flows so quickly… At this very moment, while I am writing this article, I am in the present; yet when you read these lines, that “now” will already have become a part of the past.
While even the present moment passes by this quickly, how long can we actually remain in it? Especially when painful memories from the past or even our anxieties about the future feel more familiar to us than what the present moment may bring…
In short, there are many factors that prevent us from living in the moment. The purpose of this article is to examine these factors in the light of psychology.
Time From The Perspective Of Gestalt Psychology
Gestalt Psychology assumes that the human mind functions in a holistic manner (Wertheimer, 1923/1938). In other words, people tend to perceive life experiences not in fragments but as a whole.
This can be illustrated as follows: Imagine that you are looking at a drawing of a flower that is only half completed. Even if you can see only the drawn part of the flower, your brain completes the missing part, and you perceive a whole flower.
According to Gestalt Psychology, the human mind seeks wholeness and completion. This holistic tendency explains why many people are preoccupied with thinking about the past and the future rather than staying in the present moment. An event experienced in the past contains a beginning, a development, and a conclusion. It is firmly embedded in our minds in a detailed way, and any object around us at that moment or even a song can enable us to recall that memory with all its details (Koffka, 1935).
As for the future, people constantly make plans for it. For instance, you may arrange to meet a friend over the weekend and go to a newly opened restaurant, or you may plan a wedding that will take place a year later by contacting a wedding organizer months in advance and clarifying everything—from the venue to the guest list.
However, what will happen in the present moment is uncertain. This can be concretized as follows: You take annual leave and plan to spend your holiday with your family in İzmir. For your flight scheduled at 9:00 a.m., you arrive at the airport an hour early. Assuming that you will arrive in İzmir at 10:30 a.m., you inform your family to meet you at the airport.
Since your family lives far from the airport, they set off early. However, an unexpected situation arises, and you are informed that your flight, which was supposed to depart at 9:00 a.m., will be delayed and will only be ready for boarding at 12:00 p.m. Meanwhile, your family has already covered half the distance to the airport to meet you. This experience is almost a reflection of the saying, “While you are making plans in life, life is busy making plans for you.”
In short, this unsettling aspect of the present moment prevents us from surrendering to it.
Unfinished Business And The Burden Of The Past
According to Gestalt Psychology, people tend to focus on the past rather than being in the present. The main reason for this is unfinished business from the past.
Unresolved emotions that a person could not express and suppressed in the past—such as anger, sadness, and love—remain in a corner of the mind, waiting to be resolved (Perls, 1951).
Every emotion that takes up space in the mind because it was not resolved in the past eventually becomes a burden. This causes the individual to become fixated on that time and prevents them from embracing the present moment.
Let us illustrate this with an example: Years ago, you were suddenly abandoned by someone you deeply loved, planned to marry, and dreamed of a future with. Moreover, this person did not provide a reasonable explanation for the breakup. Years later, a relationship you experience with someone else may remind you of that unfinished memory from the past and prevent you from focusing on the relationship unfolding in the present. You may even want the current relationship to be shaped by logic rather than emotions, in order to avoid experiencing a pain similar to the one you went through in the past.
How Can We Stay In The Present Moment?
Staying in the present moment is a demanding task. Gestalt Psychology tells us that the mind tends to be occupied with unfinished experiences. Therefore, we feel a desire to focus on the past—even if past experiences cause us pain—because the brain does not like emptiness. By approaching uncertain situations with suspicion or anxiety, it tries to fill in every gap in the mind.
For our minds, even painful memories from the past—memories that may reopen old wounds—are more valuable than the unpredictability of the present moment, simply because they are familiar wounds.
So how can we stay in the moment? Perhaps the answer to this question lies not in a ready-made technique but in an approach. Techniques such as mindfulness can help us, yet sometimes they may feel like artificial repetition. Because staying in the present requires allowing the mind to complete its unfinished business, confronting the past, and letting go of the desire to fully control the future.
As the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard said: “Life is lived forwards but understood backwards” (Kierkegaard, 1843/1987). In other words, everything we experienced in the past was merely a sequence of events that made us who we are today. The only certainty that the present moment offers us is its transient nature.
References
Koffka, K. (1935). Principles of Gestalt Psychology. New York: Harcourt, Brace.
Perls, F. S. (1951). Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality. New York: Julian Press.
Wertheimer, M. (1938). Laws of Organization in Perceptual Forms (W. Ellis, Trans.). In W. D. Ellis (Ed.), A Source Book of Gestalt Psychology (pp. 71–88). London: Routledge & Kegan Paul. (Original work published 1923).
Kierkegaard, S. (1987). Either/Or (H. V. Hong & E. H. Hong, Trans.). Princeton University Press. (Original work published 1843).