Jealousy is a frequent, intense, and complex emotion experienced throughout life. Psychologically, jealousy often arises from the perception that a valued relationship or achievement may be lost (Parrott, 1991). While many perceive jealousy as a negative emotion, it provides important insights into how individuals understand their social relationships and self-concept. Jealousy is often confused with envy. Envy is the desire for or inability to accept what others possess, whereas jealousy arises from the perception that an existing bond or relationship is threatened (Smith & Kim, 2007). Understanding this distinction is critical for the healthy management of emotions.
Sources and Examples of Jealousy
Jealousy occurs not only in romantic relationships but also in friendships, family, and work environments. For example, a child may feel jealous when parents’ attention is shared with a newborn sibling. In friendships, if a close friend spends more time with others or consistently receives attention, one may feel overlooked. In the workplace, jealousy can be triggered when a colleague receives a promotion or praise from a supervisor.
In romantic relationships, jealousy arises from the fear of losing a partner’s attention. For example:
• “My partner is spending more time with others and directing attention toward them; this makes me feel undervalued and creates a sense that our relationship is at risk.”
Short-term feelings of anxiety and discomfort are common in such situations. However, recognizing and expressing these emotions healthily can strengthen both the individual and the relationship (Buss, 2000).
The Difference Between Jealousy and Envy
Understanding the difference between jealousy and envy is important for proper emotional management in social relationships. Envy is the desire for or inability to accept what others possess. For example:
• “They are both successful and attractive; everyone pays attention to them, while I am unnoticed, which causes anger within me.”
• “My friend received an award at work and is admired by others; I cannot accept this because I am focused on my own failures and shortcomings.”
Jealousy, in contrast, arises from the perception that an existing bond or relationship may be lost:
• “I feel upset when my close friend spends more time with someone else because I fear losing our friendship.”
These examples demonstrate how envy targets others’ achievements and admiration, while jealousy motivates the protection of relationship bonds (Salovey & Rodin, 1984).
Psychological Effects of Jealousy
Jealousy can produce short-term anxiety, discomfort, and anger. However, when approached with awareness, it can serve as a tool for personal growth. In the workplace, jealousy can highlight areas for self-improvement. In romantic relationships, recognizing jealousy facilitates healthy communication and boundary-setting (Guerrero & Andersen, 1998).
Excessive jealousy, however, can lead to destructive behaviors: constant monitoring, belittling others’ achievements, or invading personal space can damage relationships. Psychological support can help individuals recognize their emotions, strengthen self-worth, and establish healthy boundaries.
Conclusion
Jealousy is a natural part of social relationships and cannot be entirely ignored. In romantic, friendly, family, or work contexts, jealousy can be transformed into a constructive experience through awareness, healthy communication, and, when necessary, psychological support. Distinguishing it from envy and avoiding excessive behaviors reduces its destructive impact and promotes personal insight.
References:
Buss, D. M. (2000). The dangerous passion: Why jealousy is as necessary as love and sex. New York: Free Press.
Guerrero, L. K., & Andersen, P. A. (1998). Jealousy experience and expression in romantic relationships. In P. A. Andersen & L. K. Guerrero (Eds.), Handbook of communication and emotion (pp. 155–188). Academic Press.
Parrott, W. G. (1991). The emotional experiences of envy and jealousy. In P. Salovey (Ed.), The psychology of jealousy and envy (pp. 3–30). Guilford Press.
Salovey, P., & Rodin, J. (1984). Some antecedents and consequences of social-comparison jealousy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 47(4), 780–792.
Smith, R. H., & Kim, S. H. (2007). Comprehending envy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93(6), 902–916.