Have you ever felt anxious when you had to go somewhere you had never been before?
Before starting a new job, have you ever thought, “What if I can’t do it?”
On the day you were about to marry the person you chose as your life partner — someone you deeply trust and are devoted to — did your mind ask, “Am I doing the right thing?”
If you pay attention, you will notice that such negative thoughts tend to cloud your mind precisely when you are making a change in your life and stepping out of your comfort zone. You have worked hard and dreamed for these changes that could renew your life — yet when they begin to happen, you fall into the illusion of “What if I’m wrong?”
Why?
Perhaps you are about to embark on a journey that will help you grow — one that you will later look back and say, “I am glad that I did it.” However, the excitement and joy of this new beginning are often replaced by the uneasiness that uncertainty brings.
The purpose of this article is to explore why we tend to fall into negative thinking when adapting to new situations in life — in the light of brain physiology, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Rumi’s spiritual perspective.
The Brain Does Not Like Uncertainty
The brain tends to perceive uncertainty as a potential threat. For this reason, when faced with uncertain situations, it tries to fill in the gaps by listing all possible outcomes — and most of these outcomes are negative.
Neuropsychological research explains this as follows: The human brain carries a “negative bias” driven by survival instinct — in short, it is more inclined to focus on negative possibilities (Baumeister et al., 2001).
At the center of this process lies the limbic system, the brain’s emotional hub. Within the limbic system, the amygdala remains on alert against any potential danger. In moments of threat, it prepares our body for a “fight or flight” response. Today, however, rather than protecting us from physical danger, this mechanism often traps us in unnecessary stress cycles related to future anxieties (Uncertainty Anxiety) (LeDoux, 1996).
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a therapeutic approach that aims to transform a person’s negative and dysfunctional thoughts into more realistic and adaptive ones. According to CBT, thoughts create emotions, and emotions shape behaviors (Beck, 1976).
For example, you saw someone you know well — someone you once felt close to — but she passed by without greeting you.
Possibility 1
She must be lost in thought; even though we made eye contact, she did not greet me. Maybe something is troubling her.
Emotion: Sadness and curiosity.
Behavior: I should call and check on her; maybe she needs my support.
Possibility 2
Although she saw me, she ignored me — people are so ungrateful. Just like everyone else, she does not care about me. I must not be someone worth greeting.
Emotion: Worthlessness.
Behavior: I will delete her number and block her.
As seen above, it’s not the event itself, but how we interpret it that determines our emotions — and our emotions, in turn, shape our actions.
For instance, you may decide to leave your long-term job for a better offer, but the thought “What if I fail?” causes anxiety and hesitation. However, when you reframe the thought as “This path I have chosen might open a door even more beautiful than I imagined,” the brain’s reward system is activated. As serotonin and dopamine levels rise, the anxiety of uncertainty transforms into a motivating sense of excitement (Davidson & Irwin, 1999).
In The Light Of Rumi
“If you pursue cruelty, you are cruel.
If you seek love, you are a lover.
Whatever your heart is captivated by — that is what you become.”
— Rumi
Rumi’s words exist in deep harmony with science. By saying, “Every word that comes from your mouth is a prayer,” he emphasizes the Power Of Words.
Every word we utter is, in fact, an extension of our mind and heart — a reflection of our inner world. According to Rumi, every word is born from the heart: if the heart is clouded, the words are dark; if the heart is pure, the words are clear. Thus, every word is an intention — every utterance a form of prayer drawn from our subconscious.
Modern science affirms that the brain perceives thoughts as reality (Siegel, 2012). Centuries before neuroscience, Rumi had already told us: “Think of nothing but good things — for thought is the thread that weaves the fabric of reality.”
References
Baumeister, R. F., et al. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology.
Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorder.
Davidson, R. J., & Irwin, W. (1999). The functional neuroanatomy of emotion and affective style.
LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life.
Rumi, C. (2014). Mesnevi-i Şerif. İstanbul: Şefik Can Yayınları.
Siegel, D. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.