A multitude of internal and external factors, ranging from life events and biological predispositions to environmental influences, play a significant role in shaping an individual’s personality. Among the myriad traits that may emerge as a result of these influences is the characteristic known as perfectionism. At its most basic level, perfectionism can be defined as a persistent striving for flawlessness and order. However, experts in the field have put forth varying perspectives on this trait, and no definitive consensus has yet been reached. In this article, we aim to explore this psychological phenomenon in greater depth.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a personality trait that influences an individual’s thoughts and behaviors, leading them to set highly challenging personal goals. Over time, this trait can result in significant difficulties in the individual’s life. Many different perspectives on perfectionism have been expressed by experts working in this field. For example, Pacht defined perfectionism as the tendency to disregard or devalue what is considered good, to dismiss it as insignificant, and to focus on one’s mistakes in life, magnifying them and perceiving oneself as a failure (Pacht, 1984). Another researcher, Missildine, has suggested that the desire for perfection can be detrimental (Missildine, 1963). Numerous expert opinions like these can be found in the psychological literature.
In some cases, the perfectionistic personality trait may initially appear to be motivating in an individual’s life, but over time, this tendency can have a negative impact. Perfectionistic individuals may delay starting a task due to their desire to perform perfectly. Once they begin, they may become overly detail-oriented, spending excessive time on the task. In both their professional life and personal life, they tend to take on all the workload themselves, which over time can lead to burnout and a decline in performance. In summary, it can be said that the concept of perfectionism is associated with certain psychological difficulties in the long term.
The Formation and Development of Perfectionism
The formation of perfectionism can be attributed to a variety of factors. Early life experiences and the primary relationship with caregivers are among the most significant of these factors. Hollender, a researcher in this field, emphasized the importance of this issue, highlighting that the behaviors of caregivers during an individual’s developmental years play a crucial role (Hollender, 1965). Since we learn to perceive the world through the eyes of our caregivers during the early years of life, it is inevitable that children with perfectionistic parents will also develop perfectionistic tendencies. Based on this information, it can be said that parental attitudes play a crucial role in the formation of the foundations of perfectionistic personality traits. In addition, individual factors such as one’s temperament, character, attachment style, life goals, and the environment into which one is born can also influence the development of perfectionistic personality traits in an individual’s life.
How Do Perfectionistic Individuals Behave?
The individuals exhibiting a perfectionistic personality structure are known to constantly strive to appear perfect, flawless, and immaculate to those around them (Hewitt et al., 2003). These individuals put in a high level of effort to ensure that whatever task they are engaged in is done in the best possible way. Their constant desire to perform perfectly often leads them to a state of inaction. Tasks that they could complete quickly and simply may become a major issue for them. For these individuals, how they are perceived by others is also of utmost importance. Because they pay excessive attention to the opinions of others, they may live according to the desires and beliefs of others rather than their own. Over time, this can be extremely exhausting and draining. Therefore, it is inevitable that individuals with a perfectionistic personality trait will develop various psychological problems over time.
So, How Does Perfectionism Grate on Our Psychology?
Although the concept of the “grater” is used metaphorically here, it serves as a powerful analogy to highlight how perfectionism is a mindset that brings numerous challenges to mental health. It emphasizes the way perfectionism continuously wears down one’s mental well-being, much like a grater slowly erodes whatever it comes into contact with. Perfectionism can make life so difficult at a certain point that even individuals who are aware of the problem and want to seek psychological support may struggle to start therapy simply because they are caught up in the pursuit of finding the “perfect therapist” or “best therapist”. Similarly, the literature also reports that perfectionistic individuals tend to place barriers in their relationship with the therapist, which can undermine the effectiveness of the therapeutic process and diminish the outcomes of therapy (Zuroff et al., 2000). Perfectionistic individuals often expect not only themselves but also those around them to be flawless and impeccable. As a result, their close relationships are frequently strained or damaged due to these unrealistic expectations. Therefore, over time, perfectionistic individuals may experience a decline in their social relationships and communication skills. In light of all this, it can be said that perfectionism is, in a way, like a grater for our soul and psyche. The desire to be perfect gradually pulls the individual into a whirlpool, where they are driven by an overwhelming urge to attain the ideal. Over time, this condition can manifest in a person’s life as burnout, depression, eating disorders, and various personality disorders.
The first step in coping with perfectionism is becoming aware of it and having the desire to develop the skills needed to manage perfectionism. Working through this process with the guidance of a mental health professional can greatly enhance its effectiveness, leading to healthier progress and improvements in many areas of a person’s life.
References
Hewitt, P. L., Flett, G. L., Besser, A., Sherry, S., & McGee, B. J. (2003). Perfectionism Is Multidimensional: A Reply to Shafran, Cooper and Fairburn (2002). Behaviour Research and Therapy, 41(10), 1221–1236. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0005-7967(03)00021-4
Hollender, M. H. (1965). Perfectionism. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 6(2), 94–103. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0010-440x(65)80016-5
Missildine, W. H. (1963). Your Inner Child of the Past. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Pacht, A. R. (1984). Reflections on Perfection. American Psychologist, 39(4), 386–390. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066x.39.4.386
Zuroff, D. C., Blatt, S. J., Sotsky, S. M., Krupnick, J. L., Martin, D. J., Sanislow, C. A., & Simmens, S. (2000). Relation of Therapeutic Alliance and Perfectionism to Outcome in Brief Outpatient Treatment of Depression. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 68(1), 114–124. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006x.68.1.114