There are ups and downs in life, and we can always encounter difficulties at any point. Especially in recent times, the negative events happening around the world have affected people’s mental health and daily lives. In fact, not everything in life is under our control, and one of the most important things we need to learn is that we will face difficulties from time to time. This is where the concept of “psychological resilience” comes into play.
What Is Psychological Resilience?
It is the state of being prepared for adversities. In other words, it is the capacity to cope with stressful and traumatic situations, to adapt to difficulties, and to learn from destructive experiences. While we know psychological resilience can be hereditary, we also know that it can be learned and developed later. It’s not only about the skills we learn when facing tough situations—it also reflects our ability to seek and accept psychological support during those times. From birth, children may experience many negative events and challenges. Children who are never exposed to hardship—those who are constantly protected by their families—cannot grow or learn how to deal with difficulties. As children encounter new challenges, they begin to produce new solutions. For them, these problems are opportunities.
Psychological Resilience in Early Childhood
Secure Attachment
Children who grow up in a positive home environment filled with affection tend to have stronger psychological health.
Mother’s and Child’s Temperament
Babies who receive warmth from their mothers show better psychological and physical health and demonstrate more adaptive social behaviors. If the mother is depressed, the child’s self-regulation skills may be negatively impacted, leading to difficulties in managing emotions and behavior. A child’s inborn temperament also plays a big role. A more introverted and observant child may hesitate to try new things, while a resilient and open child will be a step ahead in developing psychological resilience.
Parenting Aligned with Temperament
Some children are highly reactive; others may not respond much at all. Parents should make more effort to help their child develop emotional and behavioral control based on their needs. For example, if a child has trouble with transitions, they should be given more time and explanations. Low-response children should be encouraged and taught how to express emotions and thoughts. The goal is not to change the child’s temperament but to balance the traits that challenge them. When parents understand their child’s temperament, they can set appropriate boundaries.
Social, Cognitive, and Language Skills
Vocabulary and self-regulation are very important. The better the language skills, the better the child performs socially, emotionally, and academically. A broad vocabulary enhances mental understanding, the foundation of social skills. Good language ability supports better emotional control and cognitive functioning.
Empathic Approach
When parents connect emotionally with their child, meet their needs, act with compassion, and spend quality time together, the child tends to be more resilient socially.
Physical Activity
Involvement in physical activities supports cognitive control and self-regulation skills.
Problem-Solving Skills
Children should have tasks they can accomplish without help. They need to feel like important contributors to the household. Instead of giving answers, guide them to find their own solutions when faced with problems.
Praise
When children display good behavior, focus on praising the process, not just the outcome. Emphasizing their effort encourages continued cooperation.
Small Steps Principle
Support children with small, manageable steps. Avoid setting overly high expectations. Practicing skills strengthens their “muscles.” Gradually guide them out of their comfort zone while making them feel safe, preparing them for real life. They need to learn to take precautions for survival.
How Can We Help Develop Psychological Resilience in Children?
- Spend one-on-one time with your child (read books, color, dance, etc.).
- Stay positive (parents should manage their own stress and anxiety first and be a model for their children).
- Establish daily routines: Redefine your routine and stick to it. A daily plan helps both parents and children feel secure (include activities that support regulation).
- Use positive language. Instead of shouting what not to do, explain calmly what you expect. For example: “Could you please speak a little more quietly?” Be a model by not doing the behavior yourself. This fosters a loving, peaceful environment and enhances empathy.
- Do a day-end reflection with your child. Make eye contact and openly share your thoughts and feelings so they can learn from your example.
- Give age-appropriate responsibilities, collaborating with your child. Taking on tasks helps children become more self-reliant.
- Support your child in identifying themselves—talk about their strengths, areas for improvement, likes and dislikes.
- Help your child recognize their needs. Share your own needs and explain their purpose. Encourage your child to express their needs comfortably.
- Teach your child to consider other perspectives. Ask questions like “What do you think your friend felt about that?” to develop empathy.
- Use emotion-focused language when talking to your child. For example: “I can see you’re feeling disappointed.”
- Read books or watch movies that relate to your child’s struggles. Seeing how characters cope with similar issues helps them build new perspectives.
- Teach calming strategies. Use breathing exercises and mindfulness techniques to support regulation skills.