There are some people who enter our lives and, even after our paths diverge, continue to live on within us as if they never left. Past Lives, a compelling romantic drama written and directed by Celine Song in 2023, tells the story of two childhood friends whose bond defies time and continents. The film invites the audience to reflect on incomplete goodbyes, the search for identity, and emotions racing against time.
In this article, we will focus not only on the plot of the Past Lives movie, but also on the psychological depths of the characters, the echoes of childhood bonds in adulthood, and the emotions stirred by the possibility of a “different life.”
Plot Summary
The story begins in 2000, in South Korea. 12-year-old Na Young and Hae Sung are classmates and childhood friends who share innocent feelings for each other. There is a sweet rivalry, a strong bond, and an emerging attraction between them. However, this closeness is unexpectedly interrupted when Na Young’s family emigrates to Canada. Na Young, now named “Nora,” begins a new life, while Hae Sung is left behind.
Years pass. Twelve years later, Nora notices that Hae Sung has been trying to contact her on social media. This reunion leaves a profound mark on both of their lives. Despite living on different continents and in different time zones, they reconnect through video calls. Old feelings resurface, and the bond between them remains alive. However, the distances and life circumstances prevent this connection from transforming into a concrete relationship.
Eventually, Nora, wanting to focus on her own life, decides to end their communication. This is yet another goodbye without closure. Over time, both characters continue their lives. Nora focuses on her writing career and marries a man named Arthur. Hae Sung, despite having relationships, can never replace Nora. The void within him leads him to New York years later to visit Nora.
Hae Sung and Nora finally meet face-to-face. It is a silent, intense encounter. Nora’s husband, Arthur, joins them, and the three of them go out for dinner. During the meal, they discuss the past, possibilities, and what could have been in another life. After dinner, Nora calls a taxi for Hae Sung. When the time for farewell arrives, there is a long silence. Hae Sung asks, “Do you think this was our previous life?” Nora can only reply, “I don’t know.” With sadness in his eyes, Hae Sung says, “Then, we’ll meet in the next life,” and walks away.
As Nora silently weeps in Arthur’s arms, the audience mourns not only the love but also “what could have been” and “what could never have been.”
Psychological Depths in the Story
“Who am I, Nora or Na Young?”
In individuals experiencing intercultural transitions, identity conflict is often seen. Adapting to a new country shapes a person’s relationship with both their past and the new society. Na Young’s decision to change her name to “Nora” after emigrating symbolizes her identity transformation. In reality, when Nora adopts the name, she is trying to build a wall between herself and her past. This is a crucial factor in explaining her perfectionism and fragile connection to her history.
“Goodbye, But Not Quite Why”
Nora and Hae Sung share a bond that defies time and space, a childhood love and friendship. However, this bond is left incomplete twice: first when Na Young leaves the country as a child, and then when, after reconnecting on social media, Nora chooses to end their relationship again. This effect is known as the Zeigarnik Effect. The longing, questions, regrets, doubts, or hopes stemming from unfinished business and the inability to say goodbye are present in the film. The inability to properly say goodbye leads to emotions such as longing, regret, and unresolved matters. Hae Sung’s search for Nora on social media for years, his desire to visit her, and his thoughts of her all relate to the lack of closure in their farewell.
Nora’s Perfectionism
Nora’s intense desire for success, which she harbors since childhood, has never left her. She uses this as a coping mechanism to avoid confronting her emotions. In this context, Nora’s decision to “focus on her own life” instead of maintaining her bond with Hae Sung shows that logical decisions take precedence over emotional connections. This may point to Nora’s “avoidant attachment style,” in which she is hesitant to form deep connections in relationships.
The Grief of Lost Time
Hae Sung’s attachment to Nora reflects his need for emotional continuity and loyalty to the past. He cannot let go of her because the loss of their connection is idealized in his mind, causing him to focus on “what could have been” rather than reality. Since their emotional bond was never properly ended by mutual decision, the possibilities continue to linger in Hae Sung’s mind. In the final scene, as he says goodbye to Nora and walks away, Nora weeps in Arthur’s arms. This can be seen as Nora finally grieving the loss of a relationship that ended with a proper goodbye, which she had not been able to mourn before.
What Ifs, Whys, and Soft Goodbyes
Past Lives is more than just a love story; it is a narrative about racing against time, clashing identities, and lives made incomplete by goodbyes. The story of Nora and Hae Sung reminds us that not every meeting is a coincidence, and not every goodbye is truly an end. Some people leave a mark in our lives not only by their presence but also by their absence.
From a psychological perspective, the film sheds light on how difficult it can be to let go, to hold onto one’s identity, and to navigate emotional bonds. The question “Could we have been together in another life?” might be an opening for hope, or perhaps the expression of an unresolved wound. Perhaps there is no definitive answer to this question. However, throughout the film, we search for an answer within ourselves, echoing the emotions that resonate deep within us.
Sometimes, the possibilities that never came to be leave a deeper mark than what we actually lived. The most painful part is continuing to search for that missing piece in the void left by what could never be. Perhaps, when we accept these losses and live fully in the present, we finally come to understand the true meaning of these “could-have-beens.”