In relationships, love and attention are essential building blocks for emotional connection. However, not all intense affection is genuine; sometimes, it’s manipulation disguised as love. Love bombing, a term used to describe overwhelming someone with affection, is a tactic often employed by narcissistic or controlling individuals. Through this strategy, the manipulator seeks to emotionally bind the other person and gain control. But this is often only the first step in a much more damaging psychological pattern. What follows is usually gaslighting, a form of manipulation that distorts the victim’s perception of reality, gradually undermining their self-esteem and sense of truth. As a result, the victim becomes increasingly dependent on the manipulator and the relationship itself. In this article, we will explore what love bombing is, why it’s done, and how it transforms into a cycle of gaslighting.
So, Why Would Someone Do This?
Love bombing typically occurs at the beginning of a relationship, showering the other person with intense affection. Constant messages, surprise gifts, excessive compliments, over-the-top declarations like “I’ll never leave you,” and immediate long-term planning—these all serve to make the other person feel special, chosen, and deeply valued. For those who are emotionally vulnerable, have low self-esteem, or a history of trauma, this overwhelming attention can be especially intoxicating.
So why would someone do this? Love bombing is often used as a method of control. For narcissistic individuals, relationships become tools to feed their ego through cycles of idealization and devaluation. At first, the victim is put on a pedestal and idealized. But this level of attention is not sustainable, because it was never about genuine connection. It was about gaining power.
This is where gaslighting begins. The intense affection that marked the start of the relationship starts to fade. The manipulator begins using subtle put-downs, sarcastic remarks, and phrases like “you’re imagining things” to distort the victim’s reality. This psychological warfare makes the victim doubt their thoughts and emotions. The person who once seemed deeply in love now appears cold and distant, but the victim stays, hoping to return to those blissful early days of the relationship.
Gaslighting is a deeply damaging tactic that erodes a person’s mental clarity. Over time, the victim internalizes thoughts like “maybe I’m just too sensitive,” “I must be overreacting,” or “they’re probably right.” Their self-confidence deteriorates, decision-making becomes harder, and they grow more dependent on the manipulator. This toxic cycle creates Ascendant creates the perfect environment for emotional abuse, often leading to depression, anxiety, low self-worth, and emotional exhaustion.
Sometimes the Greatest Manipulations Begin with the Brightest Words
While love bombing may feel like a dream at first, it often turns into a nightmare. It is the shiny bait that sets the stage for deeper psychological manipulation like gaslighting. The affection shown in the beginning becomes a tool for punishment later on. The manipulator expects the victim to chase after the affection they once gave freely, while the victim tirelessly tries to reclaim what was lost.
The first step to breaking this cycle is awareness. Recognizing the artificial, excessive, and rushed nature of love bombing is key to understanding whether a relationship is healthy. Genuine love builds gradually; it doesn’t rush, overwhelm, or confuse. Emotionally independent individuals who know how to set boundaries are more resilient against manipulation. It’s important to remember: intense attention does not always equal real love. Sometimes the most dangerous manipulation starts with the brightest words.