Young people’s psychological difficulties often do not begin with an explicit sentence. The phrase, “I am not okay,” is generally a delayed externalization of experiences that have accumulated for a long time, were unseen, or were not taken seriously. Adolescence and young adulthood are developmental phases where identity formation, the need for belonging, and future expectations are simultaneously shaped, and emotional fragility significantly increases. Psychological distress experienced during these periods often manifests with silent and scattered signs, long before any crisis occurs.
Both Türkiye and the United Kingdom share a fundamental approach to mental health: addressing the mental health of young people not just from a crisis perspective, but from a process-oriented one. From this perspective, the state of “not being okay” is not a symptom in isolation; it is the result of a long-term process interwoven with individual characteristics, family dynamics, the school system, and cultural expectations.
For many young people, the first stage of psychological distress begins with an undefined restlessness. Mental fatigue, listlessness, difficulty concentrating, and a drop in academic motivation are common indicators of this period. However, these symptoms are often dismissed as “adolescent mood swings,” “a disciplinary problem,” or “a temporary lack of motivation.” Such explanations render the young person’s inner burden invisible.
Yet, the young person is under intense pressure at this stage. Academic performance expectations, social comparisons, and uncertainties about the future progressively narrow their mental space. Since the emotions have not yet solidified, they cannot be put into words; the young person struggles not only to fully understand what they are feeling but also to communicate it to others. This early period is the most frequently overlooked stage, despite forming the foundation of the psychological process.
The Experience Of Being Misunderstood And Psychological Loneliness
As the difficulty deepens, the young person begins to experience an emotional disconnection in their relationships with their environment. Initial attempts to share their feelings are often met with hasty solutions or comparisons. Responses like, “Everyone feels this way,” “It will pass,” or “Others have it worse,” despite being well-intentioned, invalidate the young person’s experience.
At this point, loneliness transcends a physical state and transforms into a psychological experience. The young person feels unseen and unheard. This feeling diminishes the desire to share and accelerates withdrawal. The concept of emotional invalidation, frequently highlighted in mental health studies, becomes pronounced exactly at this stage. Not the feeling itself, but only the behavior becomes visible.
Erosion Of Self-Perception And Hopelessness
A prolonged period of distress begins to affect the young person’s perception of themselves. Academic failures, ruptures in social relationships, or criticisms within the family can gradually turn into a personal narrative of inadequacy. The thought, “I am not good enough,” is reinforced with every new difficulty encountered.
Within this cognitive framework, the young person struggles to develop a hopeful outlook for the future. Beliefs that effort will go unrewarded gain strength. Hopelessness at this stage ceases to be a temporary feeling and becomes persistent, weakening the young person’s psychological resilience.
The Inner Burden Reflected In Behavior
As emotional distress increases, behavioral changes become more noticeable. Sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, withdrawal from social environments, and excessive digital use are frequently observed during this period. Some young people resort to risky behaviors, while others attempt to cope through excessive control and a pursuit of performance.
These behaviors are often misinterpreted. Labels such as “carelessness,” “irresponsibility,” or “rebellious attitude” conceal the underlying emotional need. However, behavior is often an indirect expression of feelings that cannot be verbalized. Young people’s actions often carry a message; the issue is whether this message is correctly read.
The Family, School, And Cultural Framework
The family and school environment are the fundamental contexts that determine the direction of this process. In systems that prioritize achievement, leave no room for making mistakes, or view emotional expression as weakness, young people learn to hide their difficulties. The expectation of appearing as if everything is fine from the outside deepens the internal collapse.
Studies conducted both in Turkey and the UK show that young people often delay seeking help out of fear of being a burden or disappointing their environment. This postponement is not a sign of resilience; it is a silent indicator of burnout.
“I Am Not Okay”: A Delayed Alarm
The utterance of this sentence is often not the beginning of the process but the final stage. The young person has reached the limit of their carrying capacity. Therefore, when faced with this expression, one must pause and listen before rushing to quick solutions. Creating a non-judgmental space and striving to understand rather than advise is crucial at this stage.
A preventative mental health approach aims to identify young people before they reach this point. Accepting feelings as valid, prioritizing the process over performance, and providing young people with an emotional language are the core elements of this approach.
The strongest message a young person needs to receive before they have to say, “I am not okay,” is this: “I see you, and I take what you are going through seriously.” Because for most young people, what is healing is being understood, even before finding a solution.
Coping Mechanisms Of Silence And The Deceptive Appearance Of Strength
Some young people attempt to manage their psychological distress not by withdrawing, but, on the contrary, by displaying excessive functionality. These young people—who demonstrate high academic performance, appear socially compliant, or flawlessly fulfill their responsibilities—are often placed into the “okay” category. However, this appearance of strength can be a defense mechanism masking inner distress. While suppressing emotions may maintain functionality in the short term, it increases the risk of burnout in the long term.
The environment’s misconception at this point is that problems are only evaluated through visible disruptions. If the young person is “managing,” it is assumed there is no need for help. However, the need for help arises not at the moment functionality breaks down, but at the point where the cost of functionality becomes too heavy. This approach, frequently emphasized in Psychology Times UK, reveals that early awareness must focus not only on risky behaviors but also on patterns of over-compliance and excessive control.
Lack Of Emotional Language And Unexpressed Experiences
Many young people lack the vocabulary to express their emotional state. Instead of saying they feel sad, anxious, or angry, they simply say they feel “weird,” “empty,” or “tired.” This limited emotional language complicates both self-understanding and seeking help. If the feeling has no name, its sharing becomes vague.
The inability to talk about emotions in school and family environments deepens this deficiency. In systems where performance is central, emotions are seen as secondary; consequently, young people learn to suppress what they feel. However, emotional literacy is one of the fundamental components of psychological resilience. For a young person to recognize what they are feeling is a prerequisite for being able to seek support before saying, “I am not okay.”
The Preventative Mental Health Perspective
The preventative mental health approach positions intervention not after the crisis, but in the early stages of the process. The primary goal in this perspective is not to eliminate the young person’s difficulties, but to prevent them from being alone with those difficulties. Safe relationship spaces, non-judgmental listening, and the validation of emotions are the basic building blocks of this process.
Identifying young people before they need to say, “I am not okay,” is a societal responsibility as much as an individual one. Collaboration among schools, families, and mental health professionals ensures the sustainability of this awareness. Because the mental well-being of young people is shaped not only by individual resilience but also by the sensitivity of the systems that surround them.
Kaynakça
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