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Are the Expectations of Men and Women from Marriage the Same?

Definition of Marriage


Marriage can be defined as an emotional, economic, social, and biological union established by a man and a woman—who may have grown up in the same or different cultures—in accordance with legal frameworks, with the aim of biological continuity. The prevalence and nature of marriage vary according to geographical regions. In some areas, individuals marry at a younger age, while in others, marriage occurs at more socially accepted ages. Marriage is built upon a variety of principles, among which expectations and goals are the most significant. These expectations may differ or align depending on gender. The expectations of men and women can be analyzed as follows:

Women’s Expectations from Marriage:

  • Due to their generally more emotional nature, women tend to seek affection and attention in marriage. For instance, they value gestures such as holding hands, hearing kind words, receiving thoughtful and gentle behavior. Attention is a crucial need that keeps a woman’s love alive. When she feels valued through attention, her affection remains strong. A lack of attention may result in emotional distance and unhappiness, which can be reflected in her behavior.

  • Women desire to share experiences and spend quality time with their partners. They prefer to spend special days and free time with their spouse, such as on vacations, during activities, or at dinner outings.

  • Women often view having children as the natural outcome of romantic love. However, men may not approach parenthood with the same emotional lens.

  • In some segments of society, there exists a belief that child-rearing is solely a woman’s responsibility. This perception can be burdensome. Therefore, women expect their partner to share the responsibilities of raising children.

  • Women seek a trustworthy and honest partner. The sense of trust is vital for establishing a healthy family for both themselves and their future children.

  • They expect to be respected. This recognition affirms their presence and reinforces their sense of self-worth.

  • Women want to maintain open communication with their partner. They wish to share emotions, thoughts, ideas, and experiences. A lack of communication can create emotional distance, making them feel like strangers living under the same roof.

  • Understanding is a key expectation. Where there is no understanding, respect may also be compromised.

  • Women enjoy moments of excitement and surprise. Unexpected gestures, such as receiving flowers, can make them feel happy and valued, as women often experience emotions more intensely.

  • Women prefer clarity in thoughts and decisions. They typically do not appreciate postponement or ambiguity, unlike men who may tend to delay or avoid certain discussions.

Men’s Expectations from Marriage:

  • Men generally dislike excessive restrictions. They want to feel a sense of freedom at times, spend time alone, or be with their friends. Excessive control may lead to dissatisfaction and emotional distance.

  • Men often expect their partners to take care of their physical appearance. A well-groomed partner makes them feel valued and happy.

  • Like women, men seek trust in a relationship. In contemporary times, it has become a non-negotiable expectation.

  • Men desire a peaceful and calm life. After a long day, they often seek tranquility at home, free from external stress.

  • Similar to women, men also expect understanding from their partners.

  • Men also expect respect from their spouse. Respect reinforces their self-worth.

  • They appreciate a cheerful demeanor. A smiling partner energizes them and contributes to their happiness, whereas a consistently negative mood can be emotionally draining.

  • Men also want children, primarily as a continuation of their lineage. Compared to women, their approach may be more pragmatic.

  • At times, men also seek care and affection, particularly during illness or periods of vulnerability.

  • Due to their typically more straightforward thinking, men prefer direct communication from their partners. For instance, rather than expecting their partner to infer a desire, they prefer hearing it clearly expressed, such as “I would like you to buy me flowers.”

Conclusion


In conclusion, as outlined above, the expectations of men and women from marriage share both similarities and differences. These expectations can vary significantly between individuals. In relationships where mutual goals and expectations are not clearly communicated, conflicts may arise. Therefore, for a healthier marriage, it is crucial to first discuss shared goals and expectations. Open conversations allow partners to identify differences and collaboratively seek resolutions. In cases where expectations are entirely incompatible, the decision to marry may need to be reconsidered. A healthy family environment is fostered by effective communication and understanding, which ultimately leads to the development of emotionally healthy individuals. For the sake of both yourselves and your future children, do not forget to discuss your expectations and mutual goals in advance.

Fatma Çelik
Fatma Çelik
Fatma Çelik is a psychologist, family counselor, and author with extensive experience in counseling and academic research. She completed her undergraduate studies at Cyprus International University and is currently pursuing a master's degree in Clinical Psychology at Near East University. She has specialized in family counseling, exam anxiety, and child assessment by completing relevant training in these areas. She is also a columnist for Gördes newspaper. As an author committed to making psychology accessible and engaging for everyone, she continues to produce content aimed at strengthening mental health.

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