Comparing life to a sea voyage is one of humanity’s oldest metaphors. A person becomes a ship navigating their inner geography; decisions are the route, and dreams are the wind that fills the sails. But from time to time, the compass breaks, the map fades, and the sea darkens. The ship continues to float, but no one knows where it’s heading. This state is not merely one of disorientation—it is also a deep experience of not belonging. Existential psychology does not view such states of disorientation as mere functional confusion, but as a weakening of one’s connection to life itself. At the center of this rupture often lies a loss of existential belonging.
Belonging is not simply about being attached to a community or place. It is a psychological bond that makes one’s existence feel meaningful, visible, and valid. A person puts down roots where they feel they belong and builds their self-definition there. This sense of belonging becomes one of the internal compasses that help individuals give psychological direction to their lives. Existential thinkers consider the act of orienting oneself as a movement nourished by meaning. Viktor Frankl argued that the fundamental human motivation is the “search for meaning.” Often, disorientation is the silent scream of losing that sense of meaning. And that meaning is usually constructed through a sense of belonging—to a place, to people, or to an identity. In order to know “where you’re going,” you must first understand “where you’re from” and “where you belong.”
One of the most invisible crises of modern individuals becomes clearer in this context. A person may be busy with a job, in a relationship, or living in a city. But if internally they feel, “I don’t belong here,” their motivation fades, and their goals become blurry. At this point, aimlessness is not a matter of poor planning or lack of will—it is the result of a deep feeling of not being anchored. According to Frankl, the absence of goals is often intertwined with a sense of worthlessness, a failure to establish roots in any place or identity. The person doesn’t avoid setting a course because they can’t, but because they no longer believe the course will lead anywhere meaningful.
The relationship between belonging and the structure of self is more clearly explained through identity formation theories. In Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory, especially during adolescence and early adulthood, the primary developmental task is “identity formation.” During this process, individuals shape their identity by connecting to roles, values, communities, or a sense of self. The absence of belonging disrupts this development and leads to what Erikson called “role confusion.” James Marcia’s identity status theory similarly identifies “identity diffusion” as a state marked by low commitment and exploration—individuals who do not know where they’re going, what they belong to, or who they are.
In today’s world, the weakening of belonging undermines not only social ties but also the individual’s sense of direction. Amid temporary groups, short-lived relationships, and fast-consumed identities, individuals begin to lose their inner rootedness. As a result, goals are defined in a shallow and fragmented way. If a person does not feel a sense of connection to their destination, the entire journey becomes a kind of drifting. In Irvin Yalom’s existential framework, this state of drifting is defined as “loneliness” and “isolation”—a state where the individual is disconnected from both others and their inner self.
It should not be forgotten that belonging is not only connected to the external world, but also to the relationship one has with their inner life. Sometimes a home, a city, a profession, or a person becomes one’s inner harbor. That harbor is not just a place of shelter—it is also a place of departure. A person begins their journey from there and moves toward their goals. When that harbor is missing, goals remain suspended in the air. Even if they are achieved, they don’t feel complete. That’s why for a goal to gain true meaning, it must be rooted not only in the future, but also in a sense of groundedness in the present and the past.
Therefore, questioning the quality of one’s goals requires more than planning skills—it demands a reflection on the mechanisms of belonging. When individuals feel they belong, they can chart their path with greater clarity. A homeless heart loses direction easily. A ship without a course rarely reaches a safe harbor.
In conclusion, goal-setting is a future-oriented act. Yet the roots of that act lie in the belonging felt in the past and present. Belonging enables a sense of direction; direction makes goals meaningful. Often, what appears as aimlessness is actually the quiet absence of a harbor. And a person can truly begin their journey only when they remember where—and to whom—they belong.